


He's fine

by brainfartsbyme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Manic Episode, Mental Breakdown, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28590915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainfartsbyme/pseuds/brainfartsbyme
Summary: I feel like shit.  So now Dean does too.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	He's fine

Of course he's fine.   
Why wouldn't he be. Everything is good. He's healthy, no recent wounds, he's got food and a roof over his head. He's got his family, his brother and the few chosen ones he decided to love.

He keeps repeating this mantra over and over while he angrily cleans his room. 

His eyes are burning but he refuses to cry. Not because he's a man but because there is no point in crying. It's not gonna make everything go away or make anything better.

So he cleans.   
He throws everything on his bed, sorts the laundry, attacks the spiderwebs in the corners with the same anger he attacks monsters.   
He collects weeks old dishes and puts them in the kitchen to be washed later. He sorts bills he refused to open and pays them in order of importance.   
He ignores his phone besides changing the music. 

He's fine.

He mops the floor. 3 times because it's been too long and the first 2 didn't leave the floor clean enough.   
He changes the water again. Maybe a 4th time will do the trick.

The floor is clean. The pile on his bed is high. High enough that he can't look over to the other side of the room. He stands there. Hands on hips and sweat on his face, eyes still burning.

Sam watches. He watches his brother get more and more quiet each passing day. Each announcement on TV makes his brother shut of more.  
The day before he watched his brother do nothing. He barely spoke. Barely ate. Just sat and read. Nothing else.  
Sam prepares.   
He puts water in the fridge and stocks up on snacks. He makes sure there are enough cleaning products in the house and that they are where they need to be.   
He stocks up on laundry detergent and Dean's favorite fabric softener.

Sam watches and waits. He stays in his room. Door open just a bit so he can hear what's happening. It's not his first rodeo but it's been a while. He didn't see the signs early enough and by time he noticed it had been too late.

Dean takes a deep breath. He eyes the liquor bottle. Not yet. Not until he deserves it.

He tackles the pile. Sorting his clothes. His books. His weapons. He empties out his closet and sorts that too.   
It takes hours. But it's not enough.   
He's still cooped up. Now in his clean room.   
His eyes are still burning and now his back hurts from bending over. His knees hurt from scrubbing the floor again.   
He breaks. 

He sinks to the floor sobbing. 

Sam hears nothing for a long time. Nothing besides loud music and scrubbing.   
He prepares. He has a blanket and he put the kettle on. 

The water is hot enough for tea when he hears it.

Sam prays. 

He feels the air change behind him. 

He hands tea and blanket to the only person Dean wants right now.


End file.
